According to Procedure

Hipster or Hobo

The girl took these pictures while she was out holiday shopping. She fell into the Gap, and it seems she's not the only one. I've been thinking about these mannequins and I must admit, I'm confused. Let's start with exhibit A to the left. I've come to understand that the primary clientele of this establishment really likes sweaters. But this is a lot of sweaters. I know that layering is cool, but this seems to have passed cool, make a hard right and drive due south of cool for a very very long time. I can't imagine the hipster who wakes up one morning and thinks, "where are all of my sweaters, I'm going to put them on...with a scarf. But I figured, hey I'm not cool, what do I know.

Then she showed me this (exhibit B). I get these are pajamas and everything, but who is going to wear this outfit and where. I know you're thinking college pajama party, but let's be honest, if you're wearing this it's being accessorized by a gallon bucket of ice cream, The Mirror has Two Faces, and an album of ex's that you're planning to burn. I just don't think these individual items are best marketed by inclusion in this outfit. On the other hand, I've heard that this same clientele are also really big fans of this, so maybe it's all more complicated than I understand. Makes me feel like an old man, and I'm a kitten for goodness sake.

Best,
El Gato

Good will toward...everyone.

Down the road, one of my neighbors have setup an ENORMOUS holiday display: it has Santas and Wisemen and teeter-totters. (You read that right.) But it's warm here, like 65 degrees F, and the leaves aren't finished changing and there is nothing like snow. Oh and it's barely November. I realize in these difficult economic times that stores have to start priming us for Christmas as early as imaginable, but now the girl is humming carols and people are pulling out trees. Can I please jump on a few more rotten pumpkins before you start blowing elves up my butt? Worse still, the boy and the girl are talking about pulling back on the big C this year. I'm worried. I need me some treats.

I've been thinking though. I got snatched up out of the pound by these two layabouts who only go to work long enough to be able to buy me ridiculously overpriced doggie health food. They drag me all over the country checking out trails and parks. When they aren't doing that, they insist on snuggling on the couch with me and those stupid cats (who are kind of all right when they leave me alone and are super awesome when they fight each other to the death). They are constantly tracking people through here to pet me, play with me, and bring me treats. When they're done petting me they just sit around playing cards and laughing really loudly. (It scares me sometimes.) The girl says that its time to start celebrating that, the fact that every day of our lives is like a holiday, that we should feel grateful and lucky everyday, so we don't need to try to feel extra extra special on one particular day. I guess if that's the new strategy, then I'm cool with it. Bring on the good cheer. (But maybe get me a little treat.)

Love,
Dog

Happy Anniversary

Today is somebody's anniversary. Wow, ten years. You're amazing. I promise to spout off about marriage soon in your honor.

Love,
Dog

So...

So the thing is that occassionally we have things to say. It's not that they're always important, grammatical, funny or even interesting, but we decided to say them anyway. Who is this "we" you ask? Like it says, a boy, a girl, a dog, and a couple of cats*. We all have things we want you to know. So we decided we're going to share. Some of us have ulterior motives. (The girl, in effort to read more, has joined some crazy dorky blogger flash mob.) The boy wants to share some lessons with you about poop and sailboats. El gato is very interested in politics, body building and fighting things. The cat is very interested in film and music, and the dog mostly just wants to send shout outs to people. If you're reading this, you're probably related to us, so know this: we love you.

Love,
Girl, Boy, Dog, El Gato, and Cat.